


Falling

by Goodluckdetective (scorpiontales)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Character Study, Drabble, Falling In Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-16 18:50:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19324015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorpiontales/pseuds/Goodluckdetective
Summary: Despite what one might think, Crowley has never tried to tempt Aziraphale into falling.On falling, faith, and what hides behind a smile.





	Falling

**Author's Note:**

> *crawls out from under my rock of depression* 
> 
> *places this small fic on the table*
> 
> *crawls back under rock*
> 
> I was never here.

Contrary to what one may assume, Crowley has no desire to ever see Aziraphale fall. For good reasons, if you were to ask him on the subject. 

It’s painful, for one. Crowley might have sauntered vaguely downwards but the pain when he reached the landing that is hell was just the same as any other demon. It is hard to describe, pain is very much a human sensation born of the nervous system, but the best comparison would perhaps be apt to being dunked under frozen water by barbed wire after being flayed alive (1). And while that initial pain eventually fades to that of a lingering cold in one’s bones (2), it is one Crowley would much rather like Aziraphale to avoid. Can the angel handle pain? Of course. But that does not mean Crowley wants him to suffer through it if it can be otherwise avoided.

Another reason: Aziraphale would be a terrible demon. It might be nice to work in an official capacity, sure, but Aziraphale is not suited for cutting words and the minor inconveniences Hell specializes in. It is not that he is too soft, far from it (3), but Aziraphale wears his softness much like one wears a jacket. He finds the outstretched hand of kindness a nobler cause than the sword. And while kindness is hard to find in heaven these days, at least it is allowed. Hell is never kind. 

But neither of those thoughts, while crucial concerns, are not the main reason Crowley hopes that Aziraphale will never fall. No, Aziraphale can not fall, because to fall is to lose faith. Faith in God, faith in humanity, faith in the world being kind. It is to doubt, to do it constantly, to never be quite sure that the move you are making is the correct one. Crowley knows doubt, it comes to him with every decision he makes, and the weight of it is far more painful than the lingering chill of hell’s flames. It is a doubt that does not allow for any faith in almost anything, not even in that of oneself. 

Doubt, the consuming kind that comes with being a demon, is the antithesis of Aziraphale.  Aziraphale who decided to believe God could have intentions for mankind other than their doom. Aziraphale who thought mankind could be good, if they were allowed to try. Aziraphale who gave his flaming sword to Adam believing he would use wisely (4).

Aziraphale who saw a demon and decided that his faith, the most powerful thing an angel could have, could be placed with a snake of a demon who talked too loud, drank too much, and loved mankind’s creature comforts enough to die for them (5).

If Aziraphale were to fall, the loss of faith, the faith that things can be good, would be the end of him. He would survive, but as something else. Someone else. And Crowley rather likes the Aziraphale he knows now.

So screw Aziraphale falling. Crowley already did that for the both of them. He can do it again if asked. He’ll spend an eternity falling as long as Aziraphale keeps his faith in others tucked behind a fond smile.

(Falling for that smile, after all, is still the best type of falling Crowley has ever done.)

  
  


Footnotes:

  1. This is not Crowley’s personal comparison of choice, as he thinks it rather medieval and far too dramatic. The barbed wire comparison was popularized by the demon Alostar, who Crowley thought was an “overly winded-prat with a terrible taste in ties.”
  2. This Crowley has used as a description for the sensation, though he himself did not popularize it.
  3. Anyone who has the misfortune of meeting Aziraphale during the fall of Rome, when he decided to save as many humans as he could with his two fists and a shard of pottery, would never consider calling Aziraphale soft. Ever. Crowley even asked them himself when he found them in hell later.  

  4. Adam actually did use the sword wisely, mostly to set fires to keep warm and to slay beasts that threatened him and Eve. It would be his ancestors who would use the blade to shed the blood of their fellow men. 
  5. Not that he would ever admit it. 




End file.
